i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
