If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
