We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
