doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
