Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
