You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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