More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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