not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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