I'm so fucking centered right now
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
