The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
