The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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