And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
