Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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