I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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