butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
