ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
