i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Ladies don't puke and tell
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
