I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
