how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How does it feel to date your dad?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My feet surprised me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
