Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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