I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
