census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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