I puked a lego.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
