just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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