You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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