Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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