People with herpes should wear stickers.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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