walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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