Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
