is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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