I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize