Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
