I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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