when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
