were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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