I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
