i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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