i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
