I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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