I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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