we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
