Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
