Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
