Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
