i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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