Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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