i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
