dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
