smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I wear drunk well.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
