apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Terrible idea I love it
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
