How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I checked into jail on foursquare
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
