he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
