Rock
Scissors
Fuck
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
