Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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